Postnatal anxiety – lets talk!

*Based on my Lived Experience Learnings*

Battling postnatal anxiety can look very different for everybody. Did “feeling judged” ever trigger your anxiety?

Getting really honest with myself was the thing that got me out of postnatal anxiety. And I’ll be sharing more of that in here with you.

It’s really bloody hard and scary at the thought of getting honest with yourself, especially when your mind feels so messed up trying to deal with this new “motherhood” thing.

“Is this postnatal anxiety? The over-analysing, the over-thinking, the constant feeling of judgement…” I would constantly think inside my head.

I want to start by letting you know that even though it’s scary and overwhelming and just another emotion or thing to deal with, it’s so incredibly powerful once you start. Once you start getting honest with yourself, that is.

This post is one I originally wrote in my first year of motherhood in 2018, where I share one of my hard learnings as I battled postnatal anxiety when I first became a mum. (You can get to know me better here.)

The hard truth about postnatal anxiety and judgement

It’s super hard to admit that we judge. To admit that we’re not going to be one of “THOSE” people. One of “THOSE” types of mums.

It’s time for a #hardtruth, so buckle in and open your mind.

The fact is, we’re all someone else’s “other”. Every one of us sits in someone else’s “THOSE” category. And when life changes, we all end up becoming that person we used to judge and say we’d never “become”.

And it’s fucking hard to admit that. Because we feel guilty and we “know” it fricken hurts to be put in a box. And the funny thing is, we’re the ones who put ourselves in that category.

Why my postnatal anxiety was tied to feeling judged

This has been a huge eye-opener for me, as my anxiety would usually set in when I was having one of those guilty, “I used to think that / do that” type moments. Because I was scared of being put in a box that isn’t “right”, isn’t “cool”, isn’t “appropriate”.

I was scared I wouldn’t fit in. Like I wouldn’t belong.

The exciting thing? We’re the ones who created the box – so we can be the ones who destroy the fucking box.

My anxiety now teaches me about the way I used to think, act and judge. It helps me understand and have a WHOLE LOT more compassion, empathy and open-mindedness. And most importantly, it has taught me to own my shit.

How to reduce postnatal anxiety (the honest version)

My big hard truth and learning, that I feel you can benefit from:

If you’re feeling anxious in a certain situation, if you’re scared of being “judged”, ask yourself this question:

“Am I scared because I too, have judged (unknowingly and unintentionally) when someone else was in my position?”

Now that you know where this judgement / worry / fear has come from, you can make a conscious effort to be kind to yourself. And just as importantly, share this knowledge with other mums who are feeling the same. Because now, you “get it”. Because you’ve been there.

Also: catch yourself. STOP before you put someone in a box and have a real think about whether you actually know their situation. What they’re feeling. What they’re going through.

Because remember – one day in the future, you could be putting yourself in that exact same fucking box.

To reduce postnatal anxiety, we as mums need to STOP the judgement, SHARE our honest stories, and start telling our truths by getting vulnerable – to ourselves and to each other.

If this hit home

If any of this resonated, or you’ve got questions, my DMs are always open. Send me a DM on Instagram or drop me an email.

If you want to go deeper than a DM, you can book a free 20-min chat. No pressure. No pitch. Just a real conversation – between two humans who get it.